“Simple Plan” - Simple Plan
Rating: 1/10

Simple Plan, back with another new album, has once again taken the listener back to another boring night in suburbia. Not an inspired boredom, a la Less than Jake, or a funny one like Tom Hanks. It’s just a plain-old boring night.

Upon listening to this new self-titled album, one feels like they are back in high school, probably in a Taco Bell parking lot, anxiously waiting for something to happen. Nothing ends up happening, however, and the listener goes home disappointed.

This album will make tons of money, get huge exposure and sell out concert venues all over the country. Fans of the overdone nasal vocals will shell out their allowances to buy it.

At this point, however, they are just buying into the brand name of “emo.” Never mind original emo bands like Rites of Spring; the emo of today will drain both wallets and souls.

Yes, all of the tracks are boring and lifeless. Yes, they will inspire thousands of high school students with their shallow lyrics and cliched arrangements. No, this album is not worth the asking price, and no, do not buy it.

This album does have high points, but they only exist because of how laughably bad the low points are. “Take My Hand” was only slightly painful to listen to, and “Generation” only leaves the listener a little bit disappointed.

These songs, however, only serve to polish what should be considered as a musical trainwreck.

The original rejected album art for this was the band walking through a city on fire. It was changed to a picture of just the band. They should have kept the first design, only because listening to this album feels like the end of the world.

Anyone who is already a fan of Simple Plan will like this album, but the band is not in a position to make any new fans with this so-called “effort.” But if one actually does find his or herself enjoying “Simple Plan,” an ear exam should be in the works, and I might even help pay for it.

Actually, nevermind. Anybody who enjoys this album is beyond help.

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