David Hasselhoff must be one disgruntled German.

After Wednesday’s premiere of the new series, there’s no way he can bask in the glory of “Knight Rider” coolness. The new show, starring Justin Bruening as Michael Traceur – soon to be Michael Knight – follows the son of the original series’ hero as he, too, tries to save the world’s damsels with the help of nifty car, K.I.T.T.

Let’s start there. K.I.T.T., who was originally a Firebird, is now a black Mustang. Sure, out with the old, in with the new. Revamp K.I.T.T., though? Arguably the main focus of the show, more effort should have been spent preserving the charming car with less energy spent sneaking in a shallow, two-dimensional romance.

Within the first 10 minutes of the pilot, Michael and gal pal Sarah Graiman (Deanna Russo) are in their skivvies, starting the turmoil of what’s ultimately a contrived attempt at screen romance. Sure, both are sexy actors, but no one is invested in the characters yet. They just don’t care. People who watch “Knight Rider” want to see the talking car. Give the people what they want.

Also, the voice of the car is lower, more baritone than in the original series. With the Hoffmeister at the wheel, the voice of K.I.T.T. was a witty smart aleck, constantly outsmarting Michael. The car still is undoubtedly smarter than the – now dopier – Michael, but the humor falls flat. Jokes that would have fit perfectly in the 1982 series are now outdated and lame.

Bottom line: “Knight Rider” should have been left in the past. Action on TV is never a good idea. Corny animation cheapens the overall appeal of the show, where in the ‘80s, the same thing would have seemed appropriately tacky because of the times. It just doesn’t translate to today.

The new show may be better suited for 11-to-14-year-olds, who are far more forgiving of crappy graphics than the show’s original audience.

So preserve those old “Knight Rider” DVD seasons. The new series just doesn’t cut it.

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