“COLBERT DEFEATS MCCAIN & OBAMA,” read the bold, 70-inch headline of Nov. 5’s early edition of The Daily Bugle.

But sadly, not even in a fictionalized world could Stephen Colbert defeat Sen. Barack Obama for the highest position in the land.

Pulling a Chicago Daily Tribune from 60 years ago, Peter Parker’s employer incorrectly declared Colbert the next U.S. president in the Marvel Universe. This is unfortunate news for us members of the Colbert Nation who already had to deal with the agonizing removal of Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report” host from the South Carolina presidential ballot.

As reported by the updated Nov. 5 edition of the Bugle, Marvel Comic Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada, a two-time guest on “The Report,” said, “We completely forgot the Marvel Universe reflects what happens in the real world … Ooops, our bad.”

Though Obama narrowly won the electoral majority, Colbert won the popular vote.
Apparently helping stop a villain isn’t enough to get you elected anymore. Last month, Colbert helped Spider-Man apprehend The Grizzly after he robbed a bank. Colbert knocked his foe unconscious by dropping an eagle statue on his head.

Though Colbert might not like it (hopefully he rants about it in an upcoming episode of “The Report”), it’s best that he didn’t get the presidency. Now he can focus more on trying the clean up the Marvel Universe and spreading his ideal of truthiness as the Caped Colbert.

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