Funny the type of attention $1 billion can attract.

Variety reported last week that the mayor of Batman, Turkey is suing Warner Bros. and “The Dark Knight” director Christopher Nolan for using the city’s name without his permission.

A few things about this story that is “grab-a-cop’s-gun” crazy.

First of all, there is a city named Batman? And it’s in Turkey? Why haven’t Bat-nerds been all over this like black leather on Michelle Pfeiffer? I am ashamed as a Batman fan to have to wait until I’m 23 to find out that the baddest and most brooding hero of all has a city named after him. In Turkey.

Secondtively, why didn’t Batman sue Bob Kane and Bill Finger in 1939 when they created Batman?

Or 1943 when the Batman serials came out?

Or 1966 when the campy show came out?

Or 1989 when Tim Burton’s “Batman” came out?

Or 1992 when Danny DeVito creeped everyone out in “Batman Returns?”

Or 1995 when Joel Schumacher tried to kill the Batman franchise in “Batman Forever?”

Or 1997 when Schumacher killed the Batman franchise in “Batman and Robin?”

Or 2005 when Batman was reborn, better than ever, in “Batman Begins?”

Why did Batman wait nearly 70 years to sue for infringement? Because, as we all know, turkeys are slow creatures. I mean, you think they’d realize by now that we kill and eat them the last Thursday of November every year.

Lastly, the city of Batman was known at Iluh until it changed its name to Batman in 1957, a full 18 years after Batman made his first appearance in Detective Comics No. 27.

According to the article, Mayor Huseyin Kalkan is also blaming a number of unsolved murders and the city’s high female suicide rate on “the psychological impact that the film’s success has had on the city’s inhabitants.” On top of that, Kalkan said many former Batman natives have had difficulty registering their businesses abroad because of copyright laws.

Hey, Turkey. Why don’t you leave Batman alone and get back to imprisoning 13- and 14-year olds for protesting.

And for those of you who haven’t noticed, Batman is suing as a result of “The Dark Knight,” one of the few Batman vehicles to not have Batman in the title.

Oh, Turkey. Do you need money that bad?

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