The number one song in the U.S. deals with super soaking, bathin’ apes and jockin’ on haters.
Soulja Boy’s song aptly titled “Crank Dat (Soulja Boy),” sits atop the Billboard Hot 100 at number one this week. The song is a nonsensical farce about learning how to do the ridiculous dance known to the world as the “Soulja Boy.” Are you seeing a trend here?
This tune is without a doubt catchy; I’ll bet a majority of students here can recite the hook without hesitation. Soulja Boy’s simplistic, lethargic, repetitive and often times inaudible lyrics, treat the listener to a step by step process of how to be, and dance just like...Soulja Boy!
Making a song about how awesome he is still doesn’t negate the humbleness of Soulja Boy. Even though he repeats his name more than 50 times in a span of three minutes, his egocentricity is never apparent.
“Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)” is another song with a gimmick that America is eating up. Fifteen years ago the world was introduced to Billy Ray Cyrus and the mind-blowing line dance that went around with his song “Achy Breaky Heart.”
A few years later came the almost holy phenomenon known as The Macarena. It swept the world and encouraged everyone to jump on the bandwagon of dancing.
The Locomotion’s and Electric Slides are a thing of the past, and nothing can compare to the idiocy that is The Soulja Boy.
During the summer, I made the mistake of YouTube-ing the song. I was met with suburban teenagers, fresh in their pink polos attempting to crank it. As my eyes burned, I saw that there were literally thousands of videos of people cranking that Soulja Boy in their basements.
And as if having to crank it like Soulja Boy wasn’t enough, the song has now spawned several new variations of cranking. “Crank Dat Batman,” “Crank Dat Spiderman,” “Crank Dat Robocop,” and even “Crank Dat Lion King,” have all made their way onto the internet. Yes, the Disney film about a lion cub has it’s own dance song. I can only hope “Crank Dat Aristocats” is next.
I have fallen under the spell that is The Soulja Boy at one point during the past few months, and I’m not sure why. It’s a novelty song that almost guarantees Soulja Boy will always be remembered as that dude who cranked himself. In my infinite wisdom, I know that this song is horrible and a blatant disgrace to the art of music, but if it is on the radio and I am in a cranking mood, I can’t find the will to turn it off.
America has shown its ignorance once again by allowing a song like this to hit number 1 and forever solidify itself in pop culture. Perhaps I’m guilty as well for letting something as preposterous as “Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)” to become such a hit, and I feel horrible about it, but there might be hope.
“Gimme More” by Britney Spears is sitting comfortably at number 31.

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