Celebrities need new job descriptions.

Acting: cool. Modeling: sure. International peacemaking and awareness: barf.
Paris Hilton’s taking a vacation, um, I mean, trip to Rwanda in November. She wants to use her celebrity to bring awareness to the country’s history of genocide.

I can picture it now: “So, Rwanda’s that hotel, right?”

So, college is worthless, then? Political science classes are bogus? We should put down our newspapers and let the pretty people such as Paris tell us what to care about across the big lake?

Whatever happened to celebrities just being celebrities? I don’t mean any of this spreading awareness, because I’m sure Rwanda will be very inspiring for the next installment of “The Simple Life.”

Enjoy the small resorts you call homes and your Jimmy Choo sequin-infested closet, and just be an actor, model or whatever first earned you the right to be publicly stupid.

Maturity is always the sacrificial lamb when celebrities such as Hilton try to be an adult and “do good” for the world.

I understand she endured a grueling jail-term. I applaud her wanting to “be a better person.” But does she have to do it at the expense of the world’s unfortunate, poor and starving people? Don’t they have enough diseases and wrath to deal with?

Angelina Jolie is another one. She wanted to “raise awareness,” too, but all of that warranted second-page newsworthiness behind her affair with Chisely McChiseled Cheekbones himself. “Hmm, do I read about United Nations progress or the newest update on Brangelina?”

It’s OK. You, along with the rest of the world, wanted the latter. Fetch yourself a 15-syllable Starbucks slurpie and submit to even more conformity. It’s normal.
Because it’s more interesting! It’s sparkly, it’s glamorous, and it’s a heckuva lot more interesting than aggravating, blank stare-inducing politics. No level of celebrity will dissolve America’s political apathy to global issues. I give Angie props for actively participating in the global stage instead of donning a pair of overpriced khakis, posing for snapshots with the locals and calling it “raising awareness.”

Also, apparently American orphans aren’t exotic enough. When Madonna decided to welcome another youngster to the Richie clan, she went to Africa. It’s admirable she’s adopting in the first place, but to use the child to bring “awareness” to his hometown calls for criticism. Superficiality is, again, as plentiful as the amount of celebrities waiting to prove they’re more than just a pretty face.

I know, we’ve all been punk’d in the name of celebrities. And I thought they just were entertainers.

Stupid me.

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