Talk Like Shakespeare Day offers opportunity to buck the trend

I‘ll be blunt: thou needeth to try harder.

Not in school; thy semester is almost over, and thou hath probably already sealed thy fate. Thy social life hath probably been overly attended-to, and thy family wants what’s best for thee anyway.

Methinks thy language use could profit from some contemplation.

Today is Talk Like Shakespeare Day, and as thou reflects on the day devoted to the Bard, methinks present-day language-use rather revolting.

As college students and young citizens of the world, what comes out of thy mouths is absolutely dreadful.

I do not meaneth thou hath the breath of a toad; I mean thy vocabulary, you day-brained slugs -- the bits of meaning thy useth to maketh an utterance.

Back in the day of Shakespeare, or judging from the prose thou hath today with which to compare it, language just sounded so much more eloquent. It was poetically constructed, wherefore the writer or speaker payeth attention to all words that made it onto the final page.

Structure, word usage and rhyming all played valuable roles within the context of the overall work.

Each word had its place and purpose, and none more were used. It was like all interlocutors were built with well-oiled machines inside them to ensure speech sounded more like poetry.

Today, I heardeth a girl preface a sentence with, “So, like, y’know...” before she finally stuttered her way into a complete thought.

’Tis not pretty. ’Tis redundant and immediately makes one tune out.

Instead, thou shouldeth be conscious of the words thou useth. Rather than say thou hath
completed thy homework, thou should sayeth thou “finished the assignment to the hilt.” So much
flair, thinketh thou not?

Instead of calling that insolent young man in thy 12-o-clock class childish, deem him puerile.

Thou hath already adopted words such as dapper to describe a stylish individual, so why not taketh this initiative and implement it into the rest of the language?

Thou shall add merit to thy speech and show thy country that young people still speaketh with flourish.

Good day, my Cousins. Happy Talk Like Shakespeare Day!

All comments are moderated before being published. We will not edit your comments, but we also will not approve those that are abusive, off-topic, attack another poster or contain information we know to be libelous or false.

During peak weekday viewing times, most comments will be reviewed within six hours. For more detailed information, click here.

After submitting your comment, check below for a confirmation message.

• Your name:
• Enter text from image:
  

• Your comment:

* 300-character count. HTML formatting will not display.