There are so many places to go, but so little time. NIU is ripe with bathrooms of all different shapes, sizes and urinal cakes. I have tirelessly investigated all around campus to find the top three bathrooms known to students, along with some other unique ones I found along the way.

1) Altgeld Hall
The NIU bigwigs are utilizing these bathrooms in style. Really, it’s like the Ritz-Carlton over here. The bathrooms are in pristine condition, fit for a king or a shopper at Von Maur. Those old-school doors must be cherry oak for Pete’s sake. Altgeld remains a secluded building despite its central location on campus, and it’s the one place where you’re guaranteed to see at least one toupee. There is no doubt official business being conducted in these bathrooms, and it’s worth the trek halfway to the lagoon.

2) Barsema Hall
Business majors already have it good enough with the beautiful, 144,000 square foot, seven-year-old building. They also get the best set of bathrooms this side of Annie Glidden. The spacious, multi-stall ‘bathroomdom’ smells like a swimming pool in the best way possible. It’s always clean, fresh and worthy of your valuable time spent there. All that’s missing is a stock exchange ticker above the urinal.

3) Still Hall
In a bathroom that looks like Stalin designed it for Moscow, this pre, pre-modern, tucked-away restroom is like a mini-condo. One could easily meander in the inner-atrium without knocking elbows with any purveyors of pee. It’s a classic layout which offers privacy, security and pure jubilation.

Worst – DuSable Hall
The triangular configuration of DuSable’s male bathrooms makes me want to hold it for as long as I can. The stale, highly pungent stench is bad enough, but the claustrophobic layout will have you knocking elbows with everyone in there. It’s nearly impossible to do the dirty deed in there with the revolving door of doe-eyed freshman walking in and out. Also, what’s with the racist diatribe on the stall walls?

Creepiest – McMurray Hall
The scariest thing is being here four years without knowing we had a McMurrary Hall. Deep below the first floor houses a bathroom reminiscent of the house in “The Shining.” The lights are off, the pipes are cracked and damaged and the hidden compartments scattered throughout definitely ups the creepiness to a whole new level.

Meanest – Psychology Building
I understand they are conducting social experiments and their nerves are probably on edge, but the bathroom on the first floor is the meanest bathroom I’ve ever been in. There are signs plastered everywhere, demanding that I “flush after every use” and “please flush.” Is there really that much of a yellow epidemic where psych-students are too lazy to push a lever?

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