The Learning Channel was founded in 1972 and used the slogan “A Place For Learning Minds.” Its programming included nature documentaries, cooking shows and programs focusing on educational and do-it-yourself topics. Maybe it has been the establishment of channels like Animal Planet and Food Network, but TLC has become anything but a place for a learning mind to go. Its hour-long “specials” can be more weird than anything else.

“The World’s Heaviest Man Gets Married”
A big part of TLC’s draw is its “your-life-isn’t-so-bad” shows like “John and Kate Plus 8” and “18 Kids and Counting.” Naturally, its 2007 special “The World’s Heaviest Man” eased a lot of people’s guilt after not keeping up on their New Year’s resolution to get rid of a few pounds. When the follow-up “The World’s Heaviest Man Gets Married” aired, singles everywhere gave up their diets and reached for the nearest Hostess box.

“My Monkey Baby”
It’s a well known fact that everyone wants a pet monkey. Or maybe it’s just me that wants a pet monkey. Either way, 2009’s “My Monkey Baby” documented three families with pet monkeys that they treat like a human child. One of the ladies would dress her pet up in dresses and put makeup on the monkey while her boyfriend called the monkey his daughter. To make things stranger, the couple was well past 60. The other couple on the show were in their early 20’s and couldn’t have kids because the guy had a vasectomy as a teenager. They named their “Monkey Baby” Butters, probably after the “South Park” character. You will probably be seeing these three on www.peopleofwalmart.com in the future. The last lady in the show thought that her monkey ate her thyroid medicine. Instead of going to a vet, she calls a monkey psychic who assures her that the monkey is telling her he didn’t eat it. Why do all these whackos get monkeys and I don’t? I’m just a normal guy that wants to get a monkey named Taco, put a saddle on my dog and have Taco ride him like a horse. That’s not so bad.

“The World’s Strongest Toddler”
This special focuses on Liam Hoekstra, a three-year-old boy with myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy, a rare condition that leaves him with 40 percent more muscle mass than the average kid his age. The show talks about these crazy feats of strength, like moving furniture around at a year and a half, but there is no video of anything. The kid did some push-ups and climbed up a rope, but it was hardly the freak show that TLC was advertising. It reminds me of paying a dollar at a carnival to see the world’s largest rat and seeing a deformed dog in a cage (true story). Allegations of A-Rod trying to sneak into the Hoekstra house to steal some toddler blood have been reported, but not confirmed.

“101 More Things Removed From the Human Body”
Ever wonder what kind of objects have wound up inside a person’s body? Curious about what it takes to remove these objects? Did “101 Things Removed From The Human Body” leave you begging for 101 additional... things? Then this is the TLC special for you. They’ve got swordfish, music stands, screws, maggots and even a pipe that impaled two people at once! Sound disgusting? Well, it is.

“The Man Whose Arms Exploded”
Gregg Valentino is a bodybuilder who claimed to have the world’s largest arms. That was, of course, until his arms EXPLODED! I was expecting something like in “Die Hard,” but what really happened was a steroid disaster. Valentino didn’t think about hygiene, and his injection points got infected along with his arms. He tried to use a used needle to drain the infection and things only got worse from there. I still think that seeing a guy with his limbs on fire would be much more entertaining and educational.

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