DeKALB | Scott Potter: As some of you know from last week’s paper, I shaved my beard for the first time in years, and into a pair of whopping sideburns. Well, I lobbed off the chops in the spirit of “No Shave November,” marking this the first time I am starting this month from scratch. The rule of the activity is pretty simple: Don’t shave for the entire month of November, and sport some manly beards in the end.

However, this one easy rule tends to be misread.

Note that it does not say “Don’t shave for a month and have a few scraggly hairs making up a pathetic patchy beard.”

If you can’t grow a full beard, you’re just going to embarrass yourself. Nobody wants that, especially not you.

Most importantly, the rule does not say “Hey ladies, it’s time to put away your razor and look like Chewbacca by Thanksgiving.”

Listen, I’m all for equality and women’s rights, but really, that’s just gross. Nobody wants that, especially me.

It’s time to toss the BIC’s in the trash, guys. For the next four weeks, facial hair novices and beard enthusiasts will unite in a sacred journey taught to us by Moses.

November this year will come in like Tim Taylor and go out like Al Borland. Let’s Richard Karn it up.

Alan Edrinn: Our beard journey starts today.
“No Shave November” is at hand, and it is time for the gentlemen of NIU to show off their beards, as awkward or grotesque as they are. It is a time to throw aside societal norms and expectations to shave and let your furry facial friend grow.

Sport your beards proudly and fully, and let’s remind NIU that we are made of the same material as our dinosaur-clubbing ancestors.

David Matz: To tell the truth, I have never grown my facial hair past a long stubble. The few times when my facial hair has peeked through the skin, it always came in as sparse patches that don’t look at all attractive.

Well, I am taking the opportunity November has given me to see just how terrible my beard will look in four weeks. I am not expecting any greatness to form on my face.

In fact, it will most likely be extremely unevenly grown and asymmetrical. Come on a journey with me to see if I can grow quite possibly the worst beard ever to be on a man’s face.

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